Let’s All Rub One Out

I don’t know about bees, but birds do indeed do it. Do what you ask? Why, masturbate of course! You didn’t think it was just we humans and other primates that had the corner marketed on self pleasuring, did you? Nope, not by a long shot. We humans do indeed tend to be more goal oriented towards orgasm when masturbating than animals do. People likely don’t want to think of Fido or Fluffy trying to get themselves off, but ya know what? Sometimes they try.

Everything from turtles to elephants to birds have been observed rubbing their naughty bits on everything from rocks to sticks to their own hands because it feels good. People have a lot to learn from animals. Animals have the sense to not feel shame, not bother with religion and just do what comes naturally. People would be better off in many cases if they attempted to act as sensibly rather than just deny, deny, deny. I’m not saying to go stroke one out at the mall if you feel the urge in an inappropriate place, but it’s natural, get over it.

I can’t imagine beginning to masturbate if I wasn’t planning on having an orgasm, that’s the whole point to me, yet animals will just play and enjoy without needing that orgasm to cap things off. Seems an exercise in frustration otherwise to me, but hey, they do what they do and for the most part they have more sense than a lot of people.

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