You’re Never Too Old to be Young

One of my regular callers likes older women. He claims it’s only MILFs he desires, but he spends hours playing around with AI pictures making these pictures of mature ladies in lingerie and with younger men. Well the AI ladies he creates are hardly MILFs, they are GILFs, much older and I’m constantly making fun of him for desiring these much older women. He has a good sense of humor and doesn’t mind my teasing him about this and many other things. He cracked how good it would feel if she took her false teeth out to give him a blow job.

Yes, the nursing home set, the pool of desirable women that await you there! There are definitely callers that do like the much older ones. In this job you run the gamut from men liking them so young I won’t even mention an age here, to the well beyond the senior citizen starting point. It really is as all over the map as one can imagine. No matter the age, there’s someone out there desiring it and fetishizing it. I’m not really sure how old the oldest lady to be a porn movie is, but likely quite elderly, as there’s a market for it.

The decades of experience is a draw for most. Just don’t get them in a position to dislocate that bad shoulder, hip or knee! The smell of BenGay lingers as they ease off their clothes and gingerly get onto the bed. I’ve read sex swings can be beneficial for sore joints and ones with limited mobility issues. Yes, the elderly must be treated gently, those old bones aren’t as strong as they used to be! Some older male callers still have plenty of fire in their furnace even if there’s plenty of snow on the rooftop, though things might not work as well as they used to in their prime, they do their best to still keep enjoying life.

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I’m Here For You, Daddy

Some callers like to pretend their fantasies are real. The fantasies are so ridiculous, yet they make like they are actually happening. This old geezer called saying he was sixty nine and masturbates five times a day, he’s a horny old buggar apparently. He said his wife died six years ago and well, his daughter, now twenty four, stepped right into mom’s shoes and is now his sex partner. Uh huh. Sure she is. He said they worked out a little arrangement where he will pay her bills, or a good deal of them, if she continues to service her dear old dad.

Once his wife died and he took her off of his insurance and put his daughter in her place. She is to pay half the costs, but of course if she can’t come up with her share, she can “work it off” as he said. So she is “working off” a good deal of her bills right there in dad’s bed. He seems happy with the arrangement and of course she’s only too happy to be his daughter/wife substitute.

Just like the ones that swear they are fucking their mom or their grandma. They make it sound as natural as could be. Now that’s not to say no one is doing these things, obviously they are, but when callers mention them, you do tend to believe they are in fact fantasy and not reality, so you just go along with their ridiculous fantasies as if you believe it. Ask questions as absurd as what they are telling you. It can be fun to ask them stupid questions to see just how far down that rabbit hole they are willing to go. It’s difficult not to laugh at times at what they are giving you, pretending it’s the absolute truth.

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Up The Ass

Guys that call seem to love shoving things up their ass. This is no secret. The things some have told me over the years they have put up their bum are shocking. One used carrots, another an apple. Candles, hairbrush handles. The list goes on. I asked one why not just buy a toy that is meant for that, and he said he was afraid his wife would find it. A valid concern, but not a wise choice. Years ago a man I watched on cam used a double ended dildo meant for two people that was sixteen inches long. If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have believed it possible.

Food seems to be a popular choice. The emergency rooms are filled with men making these foolish choices every single day. That’s the risk they take and seem to be willing to endure for their quest for sexual satisfaction. Very foolish choices can be made when you are horny. Many have to learn this the hard way. Butt plugs are commonly spoken of. A caller today mentioned how after men fuck him, he likes to insert a butt plug to keep the semen inside and not just drip out. Oh the things we hear.

It seems men seek out anal stimulation of all sorts a lot more than women do for some reason. The few lady callers I’ve had over the years, not one has mentioned wanting anything up her ass. Yet with men, it’s every few hours it seems you get one wither using a toy or telling you how much they love dick up their ass. It just seems to play a larger part in their sex lives for some reason. So if you call and are using a toy, we will not be shocked by any stretch of the imagination.

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He Wants BBC

You seemingly cannot go more than a few hours without a call where a guy wants to talk about BBC. Big, black cock, and they usually want to suck it or watch their women get fucked by it. First they mention watching their woman take a dick that is so much larger than their own, but that really just seems like the gateway to what they really want. They want it for themselves. They want it down their own throat, in their own ass, and to outright worship it. They marvel at the sheer size of it and cannot believe a man could have so large of a penis. They look down at their own shriveled excuse for a cock and practically cry in shame.

They pour over BBC porn and stroke their little dicks, wishing they had something even close to half the size of what they see on the screen in front of them. They hang their heads in shame at what little they have in comparison and shake their heads. No wonder their women are always looking at black guys and their crotches. They know they have so much more to offer their women in the bedroom than they do.

They want to scoop that jungle jizz out with their tongues after their women have been filled repeatedly by the BBC and emptied into. Licking up the cum of another man, one that is so much larger in size, is a fitting task for these small dicked worms. And they know it. They can’t ever compare, they are inferior in the cock department and they are well aware of their shortcomings. One said he looks at the fit black guys at his gym and hopes one day one will choose him to use for their base desires. Since that’s all he’s suited for.

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Why Wouldn’t You Date a Dwarf?!

There are so many odd calls, you often don’t know what to make of them. A man called yesterday claiming to be a dwarf. I have no clue if he actually was or not, but he wanted to know why a regular height woman might not agree to date a dwarf. I’d say you’d be hard pressed to find a regular height woman that would agree to date any dwarf, for any reason. I suppose if they had enough money they could find some golddigger willing to take them on, since if a man is ugly or gross, if he’s rich enough he will still never hurt for female companionship.

He said what if I walked under the restaurant table and went down on you, or what if I reached up and put my hands on your hips and pulled you close and made you feel good? Um, no. You’re built like a child and no normal woman is going to be attracted to a man like that. No offense to any dwarves reading this, but that’s just how it is. No matter how great your personality or how charming you may be, it’s just reality. Nature can be cruel and we know it’s not your fault, but it’s just going to be a deal breaker. Women don’t want a man like that in nearly all cases.

Most ladies want a man taller than them, not one the height of a pre schooler. It may not be fair, but it’s just how it is. He said he’d gone to little people conventions and had women his own height, but of course it was regular height ones he fantasized about. Maybe an escort might take him on, but even they can say no if they don’t want a guy for whatever reason. It was a very odd conversation. I felt badly for him, but it was just a sad situation.

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