Hands Up!

One frequent masturbating caller said his wife can hardly ever give him a hand job since it just hurts her arm too much. She’s in her twenties and has no disabilities. She obviously just doesn’t like to do it. How that could hurt your arm unless you’re pumping for hours on end is beyond understanding. Some ladies just do not like sex, even a mere hand job. This is why operators continue to be needed. If everyone had a wife that was fucking them daily and keeping them happy, we’d damned near be out of business, but ask a group of married men how many are getting so much satisfying sex they can barely handle it? Very few if any will raise their hands.

A hand job is about as simple as it gets. You don’t need to fuck, you don’t need to suck or swallow, a simple motion of your hand up and down is all it will take. Most guys are near experts at masturbation, so a hand job by another person is the next best thing, even better. It’s difficult to have someone touch you as good as you can touch yourself, it’s the emotional element that makes it exciting. Many would likely admit they can give themselves a superior orgasm, but the same excitement is not going to be there that is when another person is doing the touching.

Some callers have even confessed they will sit on their masturbating hand for long enough to make it go to sleep so when they finally do start to jerk off, it feels like someone else’s hand touching them and not their own. Odd, but hey, if it works and feels good, go for it! A and job is certainly not much to ask your wife to give you, but so many have just accepted masturbation is all they’re going to get, so you might as well call and have some naughty talk while you do.

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Guys Wanting BBC

I’m not sure what it is about white guys that want to suck on BBC. That’s big, black cock, for those of you not in the know. So many of them say they search for guys online or go to these gloryholes I hear so much about on calls. This one caller the other day said he had been playing squash at his health club a couple of years ago and afterwards had a shower and there was one lone black guy in the shower across from him and he said he’d never seen such a large dick in his life. The black guy caught him staring and asked if he saw anything he liked. He relied yes.

They went for a drink and he was soon sucking off the fellow gym goer in his car. They’ve had a thing going usually once or twice a week ever since. Both are married. They suck and fuck one another and he said neither is getting enough sex from their wives. He even blamed his wife for the situation, saying if she was giving him enough he wouldn’t be driven to this. Well if he’d gone after another woman I kind of get the point, but going after another man? That means he’s a fag and he agreed. He said he’d had same sex experiences when he was young before he got married but never considered himself gay. (They never do.)

They either hook up in one of their cars or rent a motel room. He said they really love playing together and he almost has to stop himself from telling this black guy he loves him. How romantic. It isn’t just sex, they are friends and do things together and their wives have met them, they think they are just friends. They have no idea there’s anything sexual going on between these two men and has been for a couple of years. The allure of BBC to the small dick guys, and in some cases not so small, is there.

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Succulent Snatch

If there’s one thing my boyfriend is good at, it’s licking my pussy. I love when he makes love to me of course, but I honestly have the best orgasms from oral sex. It’s hard for me to believe some ladies actually don’t like it, but I’ve had a few friends over the years that didn’t like it when their men went down on them. I adore it. I could literally never have intercourse again as long as I had as much oral as I desired. Last night I had a pleasant surprise. My boyfriend said he’d been reading some articles online about how many actual orgasms a woman can have in one night.

He said he wanted to see how many I could have. Was I up for the challenge? Oh yes, I sure was! He knew how best to give them to me as well, with his tongue. I loved his warm, wet, slippery tongue caressing my clit and pussy lips. It’s about the fastest and most intense way to give me an orgasm. I got undressed and laid on the bed and we were off to see how many I could have. Seven had been my previous record, which is impressive in and of itself, if I do say so!

Needless to say, after a few breaks for me to catch my breath, he got me to eight. I nearly passed out on the last one. Sometimes the way you breathe and pant, it can make you lightheaded. It was the most fun challenge I’d ever had, though I was physically exhausted after the last one. My clit was truly numb after all of the sucking, licking and nibbling. I did enjoy it though and in a few weeks, I’ll ask if he’d like to go for nine. I think him and his jaw will be able to take it.

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Showing Off

I’ve always been kind of an exhibitionist, and when I saw a hotel I was interested in had glass walls on the balcony side, it piqued my interest. I knew exactly what I’d plan on doing once inside there. I’ve always liked to show off when I masturbate and make it look like an accident or that I didn’t know anyone was around. I was on vacation, so I didn’t really need to worry about anyone seeing me ever laying eyes on me again. There were some condos across from the hotel, and condos and apartment buildings usually mean at least one or a few residents will either have binoculars or a telescope.

I’m such a slut, the idea of masturbating right near the glass wall and perhaps being seen by some curious stranger I’ll never lay eyes on appeals to me for some perverted reason. Normally a horny person would close the curtains or turn off the lights before walking around naked or playing with themselves. Not me, lights blazing, I made sure to walk around naked for a bit before laying down on the bed close to the window. I spread my legs and drizzled some lube on my fingers and went to work.

The sensations felt divine and I could only hope someone or more than one person, was watching me and rubbing their cock at the same time, enjoying seeing my writhing form. That’s the thing about something like this. I have no real idea if no one saw, or a handful of ones gazed at me as I played. There’s no way to know. Oh well. One can always fantasize about a group watching them and getting off at the same time. I’ve always thought it was hot. Perhaps I overestimate my appeal to strangers, masturbating or not.

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Abusing Pumpkins

It’s that time of year again, it’s nearly Halloween, and many naughty boys do things with their pumpkins that they were never meant to. Masturbating with vegetables is hardly new, they would have been used long before regular sex toys came to market. They are pretty cheap, disposable, biodegradable and easily gotten a hold of. So it’s no wonder vegetables are so easy to play with. Much more recommended for men than women, since women could easily get a yeast infection from the natural sugars in many fruits and vegetables. Carving a hole in a fall pumpkin has no doubt been done countless times in history by horny men looking to get off.

Especially the smaller ones that are easily lifted around and tossed out afterwards. You could say they are spilling their seed in the pumpkin seeds that are inside. Anyone that’s ever carved a Jack ‘O Lantern knows how slippery and slimy the insides are of a pumpkin, all the seeds and stringy stuff and goo. That would no doubt feel like lube on a horny cock, so the call of the pumpkin just might be too much to hold back. Watermelons in the summer also can serve this purpose, but they would produce a lot more juice than a pumpkin.

The poor, abused pumpkin. Grown for either lovely fall decorations or delicious pumpkin pies, but used like a sex toy and then tossed out in the garbage. Some men will stick their dicks in anything, so a pumpkin is a better choice than a lot of other things they could have used for certain. Have you fucked any produce lately? A man told me once how when he was in school he bought some meat at a butcher shop, some cheap cut, and took it into an alley and fucked it and tossed it away. Thought it was a very strange thing to do, but men’s minds go to places women’s just don’t.

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