Cheating with the Neighbor

A caller was telling me about the neighbor he’s been playing around with. His wife of course has no idea the woman she thinks is their “nice” neighbor has been blowing her husband right under her own roof. He was saying being a teacher, he’s got a good amount of time over the holidays off and his wife is still working, so he should have lots of time to play with the neighbor and get away with it. His wife was upstairs looking for something when the neighbor lady was over. The husband went into the bathroom and the neighbor followed him. She started sucking his dick and he fingered her pussy, all the while the clueless wife was upstairs. He said he came in about two minutes he was so excited when she blew him.

He said they’ve fooled around like this several times over the last few months and avoided getting caught. The wife has no reason to mistrust him and he’s taking full advantage of that fact. He said he loved the little landing strip the neighbor keeps over her shaved pussy, how it really turns him on to see it. Apparently at a barbecue they had this summer she flashed him her crotched when no one else was looking.

Things have been going further and further each time they’ve had a clandestine moment and he’s really looking forward to finally fucking her over the Christmas holidays when he’s got more privacy and wifey is at work all day. The things ones confess on the phone are unreal. They can’t tell anyone else these naughty secrets, so they tell us and feel they now have some kind of confessor to tell all their dirty stories to, which in fact they do. It doesn’t mean we approve of what you’re doing, but we will listen to it. He was stroking away talking about how he can’t wait to fuck her.

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Happy Horny Halloween

There’s lots of naughty shaped candies and chocolates about for the adults this Halloween. A caller of mine sent me the pic of the chocolate dicks and questioned whether he should make a mold of his own dick in chocolate and send it to me. Um, nah, I’m good! He has a good sense of humor and said he could hand them out to trick or treaters. I told him to let me know what the cops say, as the kiddies parents would no doubt send a copper around to some pervert handing out penis shaped candy on Halloween!

He’d never do that of course and was just joking around, but if one looks, you can find many naughty shaped treats. If one were having an adults only Halloween party, such treats would be funny and appropriate, and there’s lots of them around. Boob shaped cake pans, ice cubes in boob and dick shapes. There was a sex toy site I used to write for that had many novelty items like that. They were usually popular at bridal showers and parties like that, but a naughty Halloween party would also certainly work. There’s lots of sexy costumes available for a slutty look. The school girl in uniform, the nurse, the witch, etc.

Halloween has become more popular with adults in recent decades than for children, so you might see more such adult themed things in regards to Halloween in the coming years. It could be fun to gather all the naughty shaped candies and treats you could for such a party to impress and educate your friends. It would be a gathering they wouldn’t soon forget. Until then, I’d forgo passing out the dick shaped chocolates to the underage crowd. Save them for the pervs that will appreciate them the most!

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You’re Never Too Old to be Young

One of my regular callers likes older women. He claims it’s only MILFs he desires, but he spends hours playing around with AI pictures making these pictures of mature ladies in lingerie and with younger men. Well the AI ladies he creates are hardly MILFs, they are GILFs, much older and I’m constantly making fun of him for desiring these much older women. He has a good sense of humor and doesn’t mind my teasing him about this and many other things. He cracked how good it would feel if she took her false teeth out to give him a blow job.

Yes, the nursing home set, the pool of desirable women that await you there! There are definitely callers that do like the much older ones. In this job you run the gamut from men liking them so young I won’t even mention an age here, to the well beyond the senior citizen starting point. It really is as all over the map as one can imagine. No matter the age, there’s someone out there desiring it and fetishizing it. I’m not really sure how old the oldest lady to be a porn movie is, but likely quite elderly, as there’s a market for it.

The decades of experience is a draw for most. Just don’t get them in a position to dislocate that bad shoulder, hip or knee! The smell of BenGay lingers as they ease off their clothes and gingerly get onto the bed. I’ve read sex swings can be beneficial for sore joints and ones with limited mobility issues. Yes, the elderly must be treated gently, those old bones aren’t as strong as they used to be! Some older male callers still have plenty of fire in their furnace even if there’s plenty of snow on the rooftop, though things might not work as well as they used to in their prime, they do their best to still keep enjoying life.

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I’m Here For You, Daddy

Some callers like to pretend their fantasies are real. The fantasies are so ridiculous, yet they make like they are actually happening. This old geezer called saying he was sixty nine and masturbates five times a day, he’s a horny old buggar apparently. He said his wife died six years ago and well, his daughter, now twenty four, stepped right into mom’s shoes and is now his sex partner. Uh huh. Sure she is. He said they worked out a little arrangement where he will pay her bills, or a good deal of them, if she continues to service her dear old dad.

Once his wife died and he took her off of his insurance and put his daughter in her place. She is to pay half the costs, but of course if she can’t come up with her share, she can “work it off” as he said. So she is “working off” a good deal of her bills right there in dad’s bed. He seems happy with the arrangement and of course she’s only too happy to be his daughter/wife substitute.

Just like the ones that swear they are fucking their mom or their grandma. They make it sound as natural as could be. Now that’s not to say no one is doing these things, obviously they are, but when callers mention them, you do tend to believe they are in fact fantasy and not reality, so you just go along with their ridiculous fantasies as if you believe it. Ask questions as absurd as what they are telling you. It can be fun to ask them stupid questions to see just how far down that rabbit hole they are willing to go. It’s difficult not to laugh at times at what they are giving you, pretending it’s the absolute truth.

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Up The Ass

Guys that call seem to love shoving things up their ass. This is no secret. The things some have told me over the years they have put up their bum are shocking. One used carrots, another an apple. Candles, hairbrush handles. The list goes on. I asked one why not just buy a toy that is meant for that, and he said he was afraid his wife would find it. A valid concern, but not a wise choice. Years ago a man I watched on cam used a double ended dildo meant for two people that was sixteen inches long. If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have believed it possible.

Food seems to be a popular choice. The emergency rooms are filled with men making these foolish choices every single day. That’s the risk they take and seem to be willing to endure for their quest for sexual satisfaction. Very foolish choices can be made when you are horny. Many have to learn this the hard way. Butt plugs are commonly spoken of. A caller today mentioned how after men fuck him, he likes to insert a butt plug to keep the semen inside and not just drip out. Oh the things we hear.

It seems men seek out anal stimulation of all sorts a lot more than women do for some reason. The few lady callers I’ve had over the years, not one has mentioned wanting anything up her ass. Yet with men, it’s every few hours it seems you get one wither using a toy or telling you how much they love dick up their ass. It just seems to play a larger part in their sex lives for some reason. So if you call and are using a toy, we will not be shocked by any stretch of the imagination.

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