Up The Ass

Guys that call seem to love shoving things up their ass. This is no secret. The things some have told me over the years they have put up their bum are shocking. One used carrots, another an apple. Candles, hairbrush handles. The list goes on. I asked one why not just buy a toy that is meant for that, and he said he was afraid his wife would find it. A valid concern, but not a wise choice. Years ago a man I watched on cam used a double ended dildo meant for two people that was sixteen inches long. If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have believed it possible.

Food seems to be a popular choice. The emergency rooms are filled with men making these foolish choices every single day. That’s the risk they take and seem to be willing to endure for their quest for sexual satisfaction. Very foolish choices can be made when you are horny. Many have to learn this the hard way. Butt plugs are commonly spoken of. A caller today mentioned how after men fuck him, he likes to insert a butt plug to keep the semen inside and not just drip out. Oh the things we hear.

It seems men seek out anal stimulation of all sorts a lot more than women do for some reason. The few lady callers I’ve had over the years, not one has mentioned wanting anything up her ass. Yet with men, it’s every few hours it seems you get one wither using a toy or telling you how much they love dick up their ass. It just seems to play a larger part in their sex lives for some reason. So if you call and are using a toy, we will not be shocked by any stretch of the imagination.

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He Wants BBC

You seemingly cannot go more than a few hours without a call where a guy wants to talk about BBC. Big, black cock, and they usually want to suck it or watch their women get fucked by it. First they mention watching their woman take a dick that is so much larger than their own, but that really just seems like the gateway to what they really want. They want it for themselves. They want it down their own throat, in their own ass, and to outright worship it. They marvel at the sheer size of it and cannot believe a man could have so large of a penis. They look down at their own shriveled excuse for a cock and practically cry in shame.

They pour over BBC porn and stroke their little dicks, wishing they had something even close to half the size of what they see on the screen in front of them. They hang their heads in shame at what little they have in comparison and shake their heads. No wonder their women are always looking at black guys and their crotches. They know they have so much more to offer their women in the bedroom than they do.

They want to scoop that jungle jizz out with their tongues after their women have been filled repeatedly by the BBC and emptied into. Licking up the cum of another man, one that is so much larger in size, is a fitting task for these small dicked worms. And they know it. They can’t ever compare, they are inferior in the cock department and they are well aware of their shortcomings. One said he looks at the fit black guys at his gym and hopes one day one will choose him to use for their base desires. Since that’s all he’s suited for.

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Why Wouldn’t You Date a Dwarf?!

There are so many odd calls, you often don’t know what to make of them. A man called yesterday claiming to be a dwarf. I have no clue if he actually was or not, but he wanted to know why a regular height woman might not agree to date a dwarf. I’d say you’d be hard pressed to find a regular height woman that would agree to date any dwarf, for any reason. I suppose if they had enough money they could find some golddigger willing to take them on, since if a man is ugly or gross, if he’s rich enough he will still never hurt for female companionship.

He said what if I walked under the restaurant table and went down on you, or what if I reached up and put my hands on your hips and pulled you close and made you feel good? Um, no. You’re built like a child and no normal woman is going to be attracted to a man like that. No offense to any dwarves reading this, but that’s just how it is. No matter how great your personality or how charming you may be, it’s just reality. Nature can be cruel and we know it’s not your fault, but it’s just going to be a deal breaker. Women don’t want a man like that in nearly all cases.

Most ladies want a man taller than them, not one the height of a pre schooler. It may not be fair, but it’s just how it is. He said he’d gone to little people conventions and had women his own height, but of course it was regular height ones he fantasized about. Maybe an escort might take him on, but even they can say no if they don’t want a guy for whatever reason. It was a very odd conversation. I felt badly for him, but it was just a sad situation.

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Blackmail for Fun and Profit

Some callers like for a phone sex operator to blackmail them. Some like the just pretend, others are more hardcore. It depends on what the guy is looking for. There’s a caller I’ve got that’s given me the email addresses and home addresses and phone numbers of his whole family. Wife, kids, work, everything. He goes on cam for me and has me screenshot him, face as well, and then tell him unless he gives me tips, generous ones and often, that I’ll send the screenshots to his wife, kids and work place. Now I’d never do that of course, but he likes the idea that I have the power to do so. He’s given me that power.

Some callers even want ladies to go into their banking and take amounts out. I’ve heard of some that have, that’s a line I won’t cross, but having screenshots you could potentially email to people that would embarrass them, that’s a bit milder form. It’s amusing to think some get off on being blackmailed, but many do. They will happily give you banking passwords, pose for screenshots, send you pictures of their wife and family. All in the hopes you will tell them, unless you do this, give me this, they are all going to find out what you are up to with your little masturbation habit.

Many would be ruined, their marriages destroyed, if their wives found out they were secret crossdressers, or were performing on cam for some stranger online and having them take pics of them in such a state, many will willingly give thousands of dollars to their favorite phone girls, and you can bet wifey would not be happy about him doing so. Giving his hard earned money to some online prostitute. That’s how many wives would see us. But blackmail can be fun.

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You Masturbate Where?

There’s plenty of men that are lacking privacy. They had more privacy as kids living at home than they do as married men it seems. The car seems to be a popular place to go and masturbate. They can easily drive away to some dead end road, or a corner in a parking lot away from prying eyes. A few also have detailed their secret place as a garden shed. The basement is another place, as is the garage. One has even mentioned a rented storage facility. There’s no end to the places ones will sneak off to to get a little “me time.”

It’s kind of sad really. One caller the other night was really cold outside in his shed he goes to jerk off in, since he can’t chance getting caught by wifey in his own home. I’d consider myself a failure as a wife if I had driven my own husband out of the house to have some privacy. In the summer he’s got the mosquitoes to worry about in his little masturbation shed, in the winter, it’s too cold to stay out there for long. One caller would wait until his wife went to bed, and he’d get on the sofa and pile a blanket over himself so if she came into the room, she couldn’t see what he was doing under the blanket. This would be a bit questionable in warm weather though. You’re not usually covered with blankets in the summer.

Everyone deserves some privacy without having to go to such bizarre extremes, yet we hear about them every day. One man would wait until he was at work and go into the supply closet. He said it’s the only place other than his car where he’s not apt to be disturbed. Imagine rubbing one out in a closet filled with paper towel rolls and boxes of supplies. What the horny must stoop to for some privacy.

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